6 replies to this topic

[Humpty]

Ok so here’s my problem.

I’m in charge of maintenance of the computer on the USS Enterprise and I’ve been having problems recently with a level 3 diagnostics program. Each time I run it I get weird results. When I ran it yesterday the photon torpedo tube sent a message saying we were out of photon torpedoes – I know this isn’t true as we always have plenty in reserve. Also, the Automatic doors to the bridge closed unexpectedly and trapped Captain Picards nuts. – The final odd thing is that the big viewing screen at the front of the bridge keeps changing view to show advertisements for porn.


My friend Data says he thinks it’s a virus but he wont help because he’s afraid he’ll catch it himself.


So what have I done – I tried installing Norton Antivirus 4007 but when I tried to run it, the ship slowed from warp 8 down to impulse power. I contacted Microsoft who provided the Operating system for the ship but they said I’d have to upgrade it to their latest operating system (Windows Goodnight Vienna). They also said I’d need to download and install the latest security updates of which there are 7560.


The computer is a Dilithium chipset Pentium Core 56 Tri-Hexagon with 328,000 GB of Ram and an old soundblaster live sound card. Onboard graphics.


Could it be a virus – we did have a deputation of Ferengi on board last week and I’m wondering if they’ve got anything to do with it.


Heard you guys and gals are pretty good at solving problems so thought I’d post here and see if you could help.

[login123]

Please post a hijackthis log. . .

[Humpty]

login123, on Jul 18 2007, 10:25 AM, said:

Please post a hijackthis log. . .

Yep, good idea login123 and I'm sure Andy or rridgely could sort it no probs but the Hijack log is over 200 gig and just may be a bit big to post.

[hazelnut]

Have you tried launching the spaceship in safe mode?

[JDPower]

Quote

Help Needed

You got that right

[DennisD]

Sounds like corrupted Data could be responsible.

Just switch him off.

[craigathus]

The (Mars Bi Polar) data traffic relay station is currently emitting (Glycodian Radiation) at alarming levels.
Mow, Larry & Curly have warned "A severe intergalactic server brake down is imminent"

News flash update: All rabbits,low flying ducks and drop-bears, should take cover!